Harry Potter and Draco Malfoys wingsnake
by Ninjasnowflake
Summary: Draco Malfoy returns after christmas with a snake of all things. The title is a wordplay: wingman - wingsnake. Yes my humor sucks.
1. What is it saying?

Like most of those who follow me and have read my other stories might have realized by now- i lost all motivation to write on my other stories- I was inspired to write this story though- so i figured i'd post it- I'll try to update my other stories before the end of this month :)

Pls review! :)

The pic on this story is my inspiration.

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Harry watched Malfoy as he showed the Slytherins surrounding him the pet he had gotten over the Christmas break. He rolled his eyes snakes weren't an allowed pet on Hogwarts, but of course Malfoy of all people would be allowed to keep one. Harry was certain the blonde had gotten his father to involve the ministry, perhaps even gotten the rules changed just for his stupid git of a son.

Harry couldn't take his eyes of the snake though. It fit perfectly around Malfoy's shoulder, resting its head in Malfoys hand, its body following his arms from one end to the other. The snake had to be more then a meter long that was for sure. While Malfoy seemed to enjoy all the attention he got for having a rather impressive snake, not that Harry would ever admit that if anyone asked him what he thought of said snake, the snake itself seemed bored by the peers surrounding its owner.

Harry wondered why Malfoy had gotten a snake in the first place. Their duel in second year, where he had made a snake appear he hadn't exactly seemed fond of said snake. More like scared if Harry was honest with himself. He shook his head, turning his attention back towards Ron, who was on what looked to be his 8th chicken leg.

What was Malfoy up to?

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Malfoy brought the stupid snake with him to potions. Harry could hear the male bragging to his fellow Slytherin peers about how his father had gotten him the snake. The snake which name were something as lame as Scorpius. Who the hell named their snake something like that?

Harry had never been excellent at potions, but due to him constantly watching the snake which followed Malfoys arms as he moved then, he did even worse than usually. He wasn't sure what it was about the snake, which fascinated him. He just couldn't keep his eyes off it, which lead to him observing Malfoy.

Malfoy would allow the snake to sniff to some of the ingredients, patting its head while obviously talking to it, it didn't seem like anyone else but the snake could hear what Malfoy said, because no one else paid him any mind – except Harry, who where too far away to hear the blonde's words.

He was curious what exactly Malfoy would discuss with his snake, not letting anyone else hear it. most of all he wondered why Malfoy would discuss it in the middle of class. `

What was Malfoy up to now?

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It was approximately a month later, when Harry noticed Malfoy's looks. The blonde Slytherin seemed to take any chance he got to stare at Harry, with a rather confusing smile on his face. Harry wasn't sure what to make of it, but he tried not to let Malfoy notice, when he was staring at him as well.

Whenever he stepped into a room, he could feel Malfoy's eyes follow him all the way over to his seat, lingering on him and making the hairs in his neck stand. None of Malfoy's friends seemed puzzled by his odd behavior, which made Harry think, that maybe this wasn't odd, but completely normal for Malfoy. How had he never noticed?

Harry wasn't sure what to think about Malfoy's rather obsessive staring. On one hand, he weirdly enough enjoyed the way Malfoy's gaze on him made him feel. But on the other hand, he wanted to turn around, meet Malfoys eyes and glare at the git for staring too much. He was conflicted to say the least. He didn't feel like he could talk to either Ron or Hermione about it, simply because this was Draco Malfoy. The boy who had made all their lives a whole lot more conflict filled throughout the school years.

Harry didn't understand what Malfoy could possible hope to achieve with all his staring.

What could Malfoy possible be up to now?

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A few weeks later Malfoy pulled him aside when they walked past each other in the hall. Harry raised an eyebrow at the blonde, his eyes moving down to the snake on the other males shoulder, it was seemingly relaxed, enjoying itself.

Malfoy sighed as he looked at Harry, before he spoke.

"Father got me this snake for Christmas. I think he's trying to say something to me and I know you speak parseltongue and even though id rather jump of the astronomy tower than talk to you, can you just tell me what he is saying?"

Harry could see how tense Malfoy was and it had to have really bothered him, for him to actually ask Harry for help. Harry simply nodded, looking at the snake, who seemed to realize they were talking about it and lifted its head to meet Harry's green eyes with its own yellow ones.

Harry simply waited as the snake looked at Malfoy before turning back to look at Harry, hissing. _"He is super gay for you"_. Harry could stop himself from snorting, before smiling at the snake and hissing back. _"I thought so"_ , with a smirk on his face.

The last couple of weeks Harry had decided to figure out what the hell those stares could mean. He had even asked Hermione, without mention Malfoys name of course. She had rolled her eyes and in her 'please Harry even you should know this' voice had exclaimed that whoever this person was, they were obvious into him. Harry had been shocked to say the least, but the last week had given him plenty of time to come to terms with the fact that Draco Malfoy was possible into him.

Malfoy's words interrupted his stream of thoughts. "What did he say?". Harry wasn't really sure if he should tell Malfoy, just what the snake had said, but decided against it. He didn't need to know his snake had outed him to his crush.

"He says hi" He said lamely, that haven been the first thing which came to mind. Malfoy snorted and mumbled under his breath, obvious annoyed with himself and the snake, before walking off without as much as a thank you.

Harry's eyes following the Slytherin down the hall.

At least now he knew what Malfoy was up to.

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	2. Say something again

AN. The double meaning of the title will be clear in this chapter. I have no idea what im doing, so please excuse this story's utter ridiculousness ouo I hope you enjoy it none the less! :) Pls review!

The first conversation he had had with Malfoy' s snake had been rather enlightening, so he decided he would need to have another chat with the snake. Malfoy didn't seem like he needed his help though and Harry spent most of the following week, waiting for said male to approach him and ask what his snake was saying.

He figured he would simply have to do the approaching part himself. He rubbed the back of his head in thought. The question was how. It wasn't like he could just walk straight up to the male and say 'hey your snake told me something curious and I lied about it, saying it said hi, could I possible speak with it again' he snorted. That would be ridiculous.

He rubbed the back of his neck, now he knew what Malfoy was up to maybe he should use said information for his own gain. He had to learn how to flirt. The question was, who would be able to teach him anything. His mind drifted over his friends. Hermione and Ron was as clueless as he was, Neville would most likely be worse than him on his own. His best bet would probably be Seamus or Dean. But then again, Seamus' ways were a little too blunt for him. He didn't want to seem too into Malfoy. He shook his head. Dean's way was probably a little too hard to learn, it took a lot of knowledge about romantic things like flowers or chocolate and Harry had no desire to learn about any of that.

He sighed. How the hell would he then learn to flirt? He absentmindedly scratched Seamus' and Dean's names off his parchment, jumping in surprise as a deep voice sounded behind him.

"Deciding on a boyfriend are you Potter?"

Harry turned around to face a tan Slytherin boy, Zabini. He didn't remember the male's first name, but did that really matter?

Harry raised an eyebrow, Zabini taking it as a sign to continue his harassment.

"If it is, my name is clearly missing on the list. I'm a catch Potter, certainly someone to be considered by the golden boy."

Harry shook his head at the Slytherin boy. "It's not a boyfriend list Zabini or did you think Hermione was a guy?"

Zabini raised an eyebrow at Harry's words. "She wouldn't have to go many times around my bed if she was."

Harry chocked on his own spit, coughing violently, for the first time ever happy that neither of his best friends were around.

Zabini took a seat in front of him, grin on his face as he leant in. "I'm surprised Draco isn't on your list, Potter."

Harry's eyes widened shortly. Zabini's eyes tingling, obvious noticing Harry's reaction.

"Oh so he is on the actual boyfriend list isn't he?"

Harry shrugged. "Who says I'm even looking for a boyfriend and not a girlfriend, Zabini?"

Said male snorted. "Potter, please. Your obsession with Draco says it all."

Harry grumbled under his breath, why did Slytherins have to be so damn observant.

Zabini simply looked at him. "Draco is unbearable Potter. Get yourself together and make a move already will you?"

Harry furrowed his brows, what was Zabini up to?

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Harry found himself in an empty classroom, with none other than Parkinson and Zabini. The male had insisted he met up with them to talk about Draco. Harry didn't know why he gave in.

Parkinson didn't look impressed as she looked him over, she turned to Zabini. "Blaise how will someone like Potter ever live up to the pureblood standards?"

Zabini shrugged. "He already lives up to Draco's, so I don't see what the problem is Pansy."

Harry coughed. He didn't in particular like being talked about while he was standing there.

"I'm sorry, but what the hell are you talking about?"

Parkinson raised an eyebrow. "Not particular sharp this one is he?" Zabini chuckled, shaking his head.

Parkinson spoke again. "Potter, Draco have a lot of things to live up to and no matter how many times we'd tell him to make a move he wouldn't. You on the other hand. Youre a fucking Gryffindor, famous for being brave. You have no one to please with your choice of boyfriend and anyone who you could possible please would obvious be satisfied with a pureblood like Draco."

Harry snorted. "Yeah right, cause my best friend would love me dating Malfoy."

Blaise pat him on the shoulder, grinning at Parkinson. "I told you he had it in him, Pansy."

Pansy shook her head. "I don't get what the hell Draco sees in you, Potter."

Harry shrugged. "Tell me about it. So what exactly do you want from me?"

He knew the two Slytherins were up to something, when their eyes tingled with mirth.

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Harry sighed as he approached the two Slytherins standing at the edge of the quidditch pitch. When he was in hearing range, Blaise grinned and spoke.

"First lesson starts on the pitch, Potter. You and Dray have this place in common, so it only seemed logically to teach you the first thing here."

Lessons in flirting. Harry still didn't understand how the hell he had gotten himself into this. How had Blaise known that was what his list was about anyways? He nodded at the tan male's words.

He wasn't sure this was a good idea, but what choice did he have? He was rather intrigued to be honest. It wasn't that he wanted to date Malfoy, he just wanted to talk to the snake and hear what he had to say about Malfoy's feelings. On the other hand his feelings had to be rather serious if his two friends saw it necessary to get Harry to take the blonde male's breath away, by flirting with him. What had the world come to? He shook his head to clear his mind of the utter ridiculousness of the idea of him flirting with Malfoy.

Well… It wasn't like he didn't want to get closer to the other male, he did. But his original plan hadn't been to get that close. it seemed like Blaise and Pansy would drive him all the way to the finish line, he had just wanted to get over the start line and talk to the snake, then leave the race. Which now he thought about it seemed like a really Slytherin thing to do.

"What is the first lesson about?" He asked, as a way to distract his mind.

A grin spread on Pansy's face as she turned to him.

"Puns"

Harry still had no idea what the hell those Slytherins were up to.

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	3. What am I doing?

An: Dont ask me what this is cuz i got no idea- i hope you enjoy my lame kind of humor-

Pansy was glaring at him from the Slytherin table. He really wished he had sat on the other side of his own table, with his back safely turned towards the murderous looks Pansy was sending him. He knew why she was doing it though. He sighed and rose from his seat, surprising Hermione who stopped talking, looking at him in confusion. He sent her and Ron an apologetic look, mostly feeling sorry for himself, as he walked over towards the Slytherin table.

He felt like all eyes were following his journey through the hall, his hands growing slightly sweaty as he came closer to his target. He glanced in Pansy's direction, a satisfied grin on her face as she leant in to whisper to Blaise. Harry figured the two of them was probably making a bet about the outcome of what was about to take place or something equally stupid.

He had gotten to know the two Slytherins better over the last week than he'd like to admit. He took a deep breath as Pansy moved aside, making space for him at their table, beside Draco.

He stopped in front of said male, gesturing towards the now available seat in a questioning way. Draco nodded, seeming rather dumbfound, though he quickly collected himself, lips tight.

Harry sat down beside the other male, turning to face him. The hall was completely silent as Harry debated with himself what he should say first. He could feel Pansy move behind him and suddenly a quirk of Draco's lips, almost like he had been about to smile, made Harry realize just which line he wanted to use. He gulped, green eyes meeting stormy grey ones.

"Your smile is like Expelliarmus. Simple but disarming."

The hall broke into murmurs, but Harry barely noticed. The tint of red on Draco's cheeks far too interesting for much else to earn his attention. Behind him he heard Blaise grumble, Pansy sniggering as they obviously exchanged money.

Draco didn't say anything, his snake lifted its head though, looking intensely at Harry. He figured that was a sign to continue and blabbered out the first line he could think of.

"You must be magical, because I've fallen under your spell."

He heard Ron's outburst of 'Bloody hell' and cracked a smile, at Draco. The Slytherin's face was bright red and only encouraged Harry to continue.

"Did you survive the Avada Kedavra curse? Because you're drop dead gorgeous."

Draco finally reacted. And it stung. Harry clutched his now red cheek, looking in confusion at the other male who rose from his seat, holding his head high.

"If you wanted to humiliate me Potter, you could have had the decency to do it somewhere the whole school weren't watching." He sneered, nodding to Blaise and Pansy before turning away to leave the hall.

Harry didn't know what came over him as he quickly got up, grabbing Draco's wrist.

"Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?"

Draco turned around, glaring at him. "Would you stop it Potter! It's no longer funny"

Harry looked down a moment, not letting go of the Slytherin's wrist though, before he lifted his head, eyes locking with Draco's.

"You must be a Snitch, because I've been Seeking you my whole life."

The hall fell silent again, obviously waiting for Draco's reaction.

"You must be mental, Potter." He sneered, looking rather uncomfortable for just a moment, before he readapted his usually smirk.

"Did you land on your head when you fell for me?"

Harry snorted, trying hard not to laugh. It seemed Draco had decided two could play this game. Harry moved closer to the Slytherin. Muttering in his personal space.

"I need to learn Occlumency, because I can't get you out of my head."

Draco stiffened at the closure, eyes widening shortly, as he attempted to pull his wrist free. When he didn't succeed, his eyes darkened as he leant closer to utter in Harry's ear.

"If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss."

Harry forgot everything around him, Draco's words echoing in his mind. Kissing. He really hadn't thought this though. What the hell had he got himself into? There was no backing down though. He moved impossible closer to Draco, said male's breath hitching, before he let out a deep breath, which ghosted over Harry's cheek.

Harry bit his lip, blinking as he felt the snake move from around Draco's neck, to rest itself around both of their shoulders. He looked at it with fascination, before his gaze returned to meet Draco's. Said male sent him a challenging look, which Harry couldn't ignore.

"You're so hot, Aguamenti couldn't put you out." He muttered, noticing the red reappearing on Draco's cheeks.

Draco quickly and quietly retorted, most likely in an attempt to make his blush less noticeable.

"I used to go to the Astronomy Tower to see the stars, but now I can just look into your eyes." His voice was below a whisper and even with their close proximity Harry could barely hear him.

Harry was about to whispers something back, before he was forcefully pulled away from Draco.

"Mister Potter. I hate to Slytherin between the two of you" Snape put extra pressure on the word hate, obviously not being sincere at all. "but classes will soon begin and you two are distracting the student body from finishing up their breakfast." Harry glared at the professor, if eyes could kill said man would be death years ago.

Draco coughed to gain Snape's attention. "I'm sorry sir. We will take it outside." He bowed his head slightly, turning on his heel and leaving the great hall, head held high, obvious expecting Harry to follow.

Harry glanced at Pansy and Blaise, the two of them gesturing with their hands and mouthing go. Harry sighed, before hurrying after the blonde Slytherin.

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Draco was waiting outside, glare landing on Harry as soon as he appeared. "Don't think this change anything, Potter. You're an insufferable git." He sneered as soon as Harry was within hearing distance.

He furrowed his brows, looking at Draco in confusion. "Draco-"

Said male interrupted him. "Don't think I haven't noticed. Pansy and Blaise obviously set you up to do this. You disgust me." He turned around and stormed off.

Harry stood left behind dumbfound, not registering when the rest of the students hurried out the great hall towards their first class.

Pansy and Blaise pulled him aside. "What happened? Did you kiss?" Blaise asked.

Harry made a face, the two Slytherins groaning in despair.

"He knew didn't he?" Harry simply nodded, still a little dashed at the earlier events. He rubbed the back of his neck, as Blaise pat his shoulder.

"Next strategy it is." Pansy said confidently.

"Kill him with kindness."

Harry didn't even want to know what the Slytherins were up to.

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Harry had never been kissed quite as passionate as Draco Malfoy kissed him. He barely had time to breath, the Slytherin's lips far too quickly reattaching with his own. Harry could feel Draco's fingers dig into his scalp, his own hands gripping onto the blonde male's ass.

It was then his mind seemed to register how unrealistic said action was and the image of him and Draco in a heavy make out session slowly broke into a black nothingness, before he opened his eyes, breathing heavily.

He was fucked. He really hoped the Slytherins knew what they were up to themselves.

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	4. Weaknesses

An: Surprise I'm back ouo It took me so long to update anything that almost all my docs in document manager disappeared- so I'm sorry about that. I wont promise anything in concerns to updating- but I will attempt to update more often than i have the last 4 months LOL - Blame my exam and Uni for that-  
None the less i hope you enjoy this chapter ouo

Pansy and Blaise caught him one day after potions, tugging him through a secret passage he didn't know existed and he had so far believed he knew most of the unknown passageways in Hogwarts.

They stayed put, for a couple minutes, before returning to the hallway, Pansy dragging Harry after her. Blaise trailing behind them, winking at Harry.

Harry shook his head, at the tan male, following the Slytherin girl, to an unknown place. Who would have known that he would be so trusting of a couple of Slytherins one day. Honestly it was kind of odd. There had always been bad blood between their two houses, and now Draco getting a snake and his two best friends deciding it was time for said male to get himself his happy end, had pretty much changed Harry's idea of what Slytherins were actually like.

They were mostly like Gryffindors, wanting the best for those they cared about, but simply achieving it in a different way than he was used to.

Pansy entered an empty classroom, Blaise closing the door behind them, before he took a seat on the nearest table.

Pansy grinned and let go of Harry's arm.

"So for this part of the courting all you have to do is be your unhumanly goodhearted self, Potter" Pansy snorted, making Harry shake his head.

"Offer to help him in care of magical creatures or defense against the dark arts. Pair with him at any given change and be an utter gentleman." She rolled her eyes, when Harry didn't look convinced.

"Potter. As much as us Slytherins enjoy our small banters, we all have our weaknesses and Draco's is pretty simple. He would never admit to it, but he likes when people does things for him and he doesn't even have to command them to do so."

Harry nodded a little, furrowing his brows. " So basically I just have to be nice to him?" Blaise got off the table, chuckling. "I told you he was bright Pans. Now let's get going. I'm so hungry I could eat a hippogriff." Pansy nudged Blaise.

"shut it Blaise. Who taught you to read faces hm? Potter here is obviously conflicted and has a question." Harry looked at the two amused, not quite understanding them, but at the same time admiring their friendship.

"will I still have to use those lines on him?" He made a face as much as he had enjoyed that their fight had been fairly civil, the words involved had made him feel quite uncomfortable.

Blaise held a straight face for approximately 2.. okay he didn't hold a straight face at all, he burst out laughing, clutching his stomach as he pointed at Harry, like that would explain it all. Pansy smacked him on the back of the head, rolling her eyes.

"For god sake Blaise, get yourself together would you?" She turned to Harry, humming.

"Potter don't be dumb. Draco didn't think your intentions were true, so that strategy is banned."

Blaise calmed down slightly, muttering. "Though if you ever plan to act in a circus I would recommend doing just that with Dray. Quality entertainment that was."

The moment the words had left his lips he took off towards the door, barely escaping Pansy's hand. The tan male slamming the door behind her, making Pansy huff, before she turned to Harry.

"Don't fuck it up Potter." She muttered as a form for goodbye, before she followed Blaise out the door, cursing under her breath how utter ridiculous the male was.

Harry was in shock from the events which had just unfolded in front of him.

One thing was sure, no matter what the Slytherins were up to, Blaise were crazy.

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Harry found himself with sweaty palms, as he approached Draco in the library. The sun was shining through the windows, its soft light making a glow appear around the blonde. Draco was leaning over a book, reminding Harry more of Hermione than any of them would probably like to hear.

He whipped his hands in his pants, before sliding into the seat in front of the Slytherin. Draco didn't even look up, too emerged in his book.

Harry took a deep breath, giving himself a moment to simply watch the male in front of him.

He had never really taken his time to look at Draco. Sure, he had looked a lot at the other male, they had exchanged more glares than Harry could remember, but he had never truly looked at the other male.

A strand of hair hung in front of Draco's face, being the only rebellious strand brave enough to free itself from his perfectly styled hair.

Harry ran a hand through his own hair, as he let his eyes move over the blonde male's face. Pale skin almost became one with the white dress shirt the other male was wearing. Grey eyes roaming over the pages, consuming words Harry couldn't read.

Draco suddenly grabbed a pen, scaring Harry with his sudden movement as he started scribbling furiously on a piece of parchment.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck. He'd better get over with it. He hummed to gain the others attention, breaking any concentration Draco might have had.

If Harry hadn't been watching him so closely, he might not have noticed the slight widening of grey eyes, before the perfect mask was back in place, a lazy smirk on Draco's lips.

"Potter" He drawled, raising a perfectly tamed eyebrow at said male.

Harry nodded, giving himself a few extra seconds to collect his mind.

"Yes—Have you found a partner in magical creatures for the flobberworm project yet?" Harry sent the Slytherin a smile, which seemed most of all to only confuse said male. Though the confusion was only visible a few seconds.

Harry's eyes was drawn to Draco's hand, which moved to pet the snake, which had been taking a nap beside his book.

"Potter. Did someone hit you with a confundus or something? Or are you really as stupid as you look?"

Harry could feel his face heat up in anger. Draco always seemed to know just what to say to piss him off. Here he was being nice and all Draco did was call him stupid, in the process also offending his looks.

Harry clenched his fists. Most of all wanting to tell the Slytherin 'how stupid he had to look since he was Draco's type', but he bit his tongue to keep quiet, simply looking at the blonde. Desperately repeating 'kill him with kindness' in his mind.

Draco, raised an eyebrow. "You're being serious?"

Harry nodded, he wasn't sure he could say anything without cursing out the other male.

Draco shrugged. "No Potter, I haven't bothered with finding a partner yet. I'm pretty sure I'd end up doing it with Pansy."

Harry shook his head. "She's doing it with Blaise."

Draco raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Of course she is. On first names are you now Potter?" He didn't sound pleased with that at all, almost spitting the words out.

Harry shrugged. "So- do you wanna do it with me or not?"

Draco looked out the window seemingly in thought, before he turned to look straight at Harry.

"No."

Harry blinked confused.

"No way I'd hang out with a Gryffindor like you. I'd take a Hufflepuff any day over you Potter."  
Harry felt his fingers dig into his palms as he almost sneered, only just catching himself and trying to keep his voice calm.

"Sadly for you there's no Hufflepuff's in our class, so youre stuck with me or Neville."

Draco made a face at the mention of Neville's name. "Using Longbottom against me huh Potter? Are you that desperate to be in my company?"

Harry didn't comment on that and let Draco continue talking.

"I guess you do have a point. Who knew you could actually use your brain? Sure Potter, I'll partner up with you."

Harry nodded stiffly, looking at the snake who had turned its attention to him. It didn't say anything, but Harry could see what it wanted to say in its eyes. He rose from his seat, faking cheeriness as he looked at the other male.

"I'll see you in the next class- Partner."

Then he left before Draco would comment on his words, fists slowly unclenching and a genuine smile spreading on his face.

He really hoped the Slytherins knew what they were up to, because now first phase of the plan was in house.

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